tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4693892916704737346.post7182009493507221155..comments2023-05-08T14:18:20.471+01:00Comments on Jut's Blog: Story Telling - Essay IdeaJuthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00778389651584819969noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4693892916704737346.post-46202721892528109942011-02-15T16:47:22.044+00:002011-02-15T16:47:22.044+00:00Interim Online Review 15/02/2011
Hey Justin,
You...Interim Online Review 15/02/2011<br /><br />Hey Justin,<br /><br />You're IOR isn't quite as polished and professional as some; your formating on your document is leaving your words broken apart in places. Without wanting to sound like someone's mum, as one of the mature students in the first year, I am looking to you to set an example in terms of professionalism - you're not 18 any more - and you should play that card to your advantage!<br /><br /> I have little doubt that your story is going to work in visual terms - no problem. The only 'disappointment' is that the escalation of difficulties experienced by your undertakers seems a bit capped. I think your Act 2 could be revisited to lend more variety and more causality to the story; it's like a snowball getting larger and larger as it rolls down a hill; a small action, creates a bigger one, and so on. Your Act 3 reveal is lovely - with the whole caravan being buried - perfect. The consequence of the moose's head seems unpowered too - only in so much as it impales an already dead character. As I read your script, I was already imagining the moment when the undertaker had it stuck on his own head after it had fallen off the wall. It just feels as if more should happen to the undertakers; that their situation could and should complicate much more so before they throw in the towel and bury the whole bastard thing... I can imagine the whole caravan being upended as the corpse 'rolls' to one end etc. I think you could have more kinetic, macabre fun with this section! <br /><br />Saving Private Ryan is great choice - the beach landings in particular; you'll need to talk about cinema verite as a style in order to properly contextualise that 'shaky cam' strategy - and lots has been written about Spielberg's approach to structuring that now famous sequence.tutorphilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11842833126210822641noreply@blogger.com